The Lies You Tell
Updated: Jan 8
I have been crying all morning, it's how most days start lately. Which is why this is a blog entry instead of a LIVE. Puffy eye's and runny nose's aren't super attractive. Anyways; when you know deep in your heart what your suppose to be doing, everything else is a lie. Not a regular ol' lie, but like you have a big, scary, dirty secret kind of lie. The kind that makes you feel bad about yourself, because you know its really bad and you could get in trouble for it. Whenever I walk into the restaurant I work at that's exactly how I feel.
Now there's nothing wrong with the work, and I adore my work family. In a lot of ways I'm closer to them than my real family. I definitely spend more time with them then anyone else and we made it though 2020 together. Seriously, I'd bail anyone of them out of jail and will be at every birthday or wedding. But he fact remains that I am not doing what I am suppose to be doing, and I am lieing to myself everyday. It use to be that the only person this lie hurt was me. Unfortunately the ache to be on a stage, or in a studio, or with other people like me, has made me pretty miserable and really restless. I'm not a very nice person these days and its because I don't wanna lie anymore, I want to be authentic. Don't misunderstand me, I'll still be putting on my big girl panties to do what needs to be done. What I am saying is its getting harder and harder to get them on; maybe its because they are pre-pandemic panties?
Since March 2020 I think every musician out there has felt a little of what I feel in the mornings. A little confused, a little sad, and just doing whatever it takes to get through the day. This virus has been the great equalizer. Your local musician couldn't perform at the bar downtown and the superstar couldn't play the stadiums. People may have been writing. but allot of artists didn't release new music. It felt like everything was off beat. Small town or big time we all had a need that couldn't be fully be satisfied. We all had to lie to get by. Didn't it suck? didn't it hurt? So as we move out of this craziness and move forward lets do some things differently.
Use the kindness and empathy you have had to harness to get through this terrible fucking year, to help someone or be helped by someone. Listen to the artists around you. Are they struggling? Are they lost? Are they lonely? What can you do to help? Do they need a lead guitar or a back up vocal? Well technology has made it possible for us to do that even if we can't be together. So, don't let them be lost, stuck, or lonely. There is literally no excuse. Are you able to perform live where you are but that friend a state over cant? If you can do so safely, then invite them to play with you! Give them a couch to sleep on, a hot meal to eat on, and a stage to perform on. Do you have a little studio tucked in your home? Let your friend use it to record a Demo or E.P. Do you have a small independent label? Then now's the time to sign the artist who may need a little more guidance then the seasoned artist, just do it! Give them the chance a big label is scared to. They will work harder then you ever imagined. and you might unleash a talent that will make history.
Also, don't be afraid to ask another artist or musician for help. It doesn't mean your less of a musician, it just means your still growing as an artist. And it someone reaches out to you to offer you help please TAKE IT. Don't be so prideful you screw yourself over or so comfortable in the misery that you ignore an opportunity. What we learned this year is that tomorrow is not promised. You are capable of making something people will remember, You are good enough, you are worthy of your damn dream. Let people believe in you, invest in you, love you. Don't wake up in tears, don't just survive, don't go to your grave comfortable with the lies you tell.